And the Frost Took Up the Eyes

It's been a bit dreary here in Hawaii. In addition, my summer break is coming to an end. I have from tomorrow until next April to finish up my degree and continue my life in another place, at another school, and with a different set of people. I have had a great summer break and have been able to hang out with the most amazing people! I have learned so much from them and can only hope that our friendships will continue through this upcoming school year. I jumped off a rock yesterday - pretty radical on my part yet exhilarating - I'll probably be jumping off of more things more often. I had a great day at church today - I went to two meetings (my own and Rachel's) and I love that even though I listened to the same lessons, I had completely different thoughts, feelings, and impressions. Two things really struck me today as I was listening in the meetings. The first was the idea of God being in everything around me and how I am able to appreciate his presence in my everyday life. I believe that He is everywhere and in everything and, most importantly, that I can choose to see Him. Sometimes I get so consumed by the trivialities of my life and burdened by my trials that I choose not to see Him and decide to look for the bad, the ugly, and the unfortunate. Yet when I decide to move past my problems and outside of myself then I suddenly see Him again and feel guilty for overlooking Him. The Gospel Doctrine teacher then asked us how we know that there is a God and I really thought about my answer to this question. Of course, I know there is a God from reading the Book of Mormon and other scripture, attending church, and building a testimony of His love for me but how do I know. I know that there is a God because of the people around me. I believe that God answers our prayers and frequently uses the people in our lives to do so. Whether it be a new friend, a best friend, or just a kind smile from a stranger, I know that there are angels in my life. I can feel the love that God has for me through the people He has so purposefully put in my life.

The second idea that struck me today was the recognition of the freedom that comes from obedience. I know that a lot of times the rules the Church has for its members appear to be restrictive, but I know that they make me freer than the rules I would have set for myself if I did not have these inspired guidelines. I have seen how obedience has blessed me and given me so many opportunities to progress in my life. I also know that by obeying God I hand my life and trust over to the being who knows and can see all. I know that He can see much further than I can and I believe that as I do what is requested of me that I will be blessed with the ability to make the best decisions for me according to my own desires and those that God has for me as well. This Gospel never ceases to teach me something new and I believe in it with all my heart because I can feel the truth of it within my heart. I thought that I knew happiness before but even that small sliver of what I thought was joy is nothing compared to the delight that I feel in my heart each day I grow closer to Christ and God. While I was in church today I was filled with such a spirit that I needed to write it down so that I could refer back to it when my days are particularly tough and I need to remember that pure happiness can be achieved on this earth in this life. I wrote, "Remember how happy you are now. Never forget that your heart is so full of joy, hope, and the spirit that you feel like your heart is buzzing - it's electrifying! You feel o.k. You know that things will be alright as you stay close to your Heavenly Father. Remember that pure happiness can be achieved in this life and that it can happen to you. I want to be worthy of happiness and joy."

I love this Gospel and my life. I know that I am loved by those here with me and I aspire to show them the same love and compassion they offer me every single day. 

Calgary - Bon Iver

Michicant - Bon Iver

Perth - Bon Iver 

My Beloved, You Are the Lover of My Impossible Soul

My life is great. Sometimes I definitely feel myself going down the spiral of inadequacy and grief but I must remind myself that it does not need to happen. It's strange because I can always feel it when it begins. My face suddenly feels heavy and my eyes only want to open halfway and avoid contact with the million other eyes I come across. My mind seems to fill up with unnecessary thought and worry - it's downright oppressive. But there are so many things for me to be grateful for and I dare not list them because everyone would be insanely jealous at the epic-ness which fills Hannah Abigail Brammer's life; heck, sometimes I envy the girl especially when I'm feeling the way I do now. Needless to say, my life is great and I thank God everyday that He has trusted me with the blessings that are apart of every moment of every day.

Impossible Soul - Sufjan Stevens

My Lovely, What Am I Supposed to Do?

The past two days have been....boring? Maybe? Just a little bit? I have been on summer break for the past two weeks which means no school and no work. I guess that I did not realize how much of my life revolved around waking up, going to class, going to work, going to the library, and then going to sleep. Needless to say there has been a lot of time spent watching Netflix and researching new recipes. But for the last little bit I will probably focus on studying for the GRE, regaining my Spanish skills, and reading. I have been going to the gym to try to catch up on the time that I could not go during the semester and have been recently inspired to pick up a juice fast. I am a bit hesitant since- you know- I love food. I also love juice and it will be expensive but I have decided that a healthy body will always be an investment, so I don't feel too bad. Lately I have been taking a culinary walk-about by trying new healthy recipes and, so far, it's going super well! Rachel and I made healthy enchiladas last night (the secrets: whole wheat tortillas and low-fat Mexican cheese) and these great no-bake energy bites chock full of oats, honey (which could be subbed with agave), and peanut butter. All in all it was a delicious night that was accompanied by the movie "This Means War" which was not bad!


What I was listening to:

This Time Tomorrow-The Kinks The Darjeeling Limited
Strangers - The Kinks The Darjeeling Limited
Powerman -The Kinks The Darjeeling Limited
Memorial (traditional) - Narlia Village Troubadour The Darjeeling Limited
Where Do You Go To My Lovely - Peter Sarstedt The Darjeeling Limited

The Merciful, The Mercy, and Me

And so it begins....again. I'm going to skip the whole "I-haven't-written-in-this-in-so-long-and-this-is-what-has-happened-in-the-past-seven-months" jargon and will begin from today. Today was Sunday and I love the the Sabbath day. We are expected to keep it reverent and sacred by putting aside weekly things and focusing on the Gospel, God, Christ, and all things that encompass the amazing Mormon faith. I love the lessons I learn from church every Sunday and they always seem to be about the things that I need to understand the most; this Sunday was no different. The talk that the high councilmen went over was President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's "The Merciful Obtain Mercy" in which he utters the now-famous phrase, "stop it". He urges all of us to stop gossiping, envying, wallowing, harboring ill feelings, being distrustful and to focus on being forgiving, merciful, kind, and charitable to everyone, including ourselves. This talk puts so much into perspective for me and I enjoy revisiting it. It makes me realize that we truly are all beggars (Mosiah 4:19) meaning that we all clamor after the same mercy and forgiveness and that we should not put ourselves above others because the same God watches all of us and our actions. I want to focus on being more charitable and exuding the pure love of Christ that so many others offer me. I am continually grateful to be a part of the Church and to be aware of the truth of the restored Gospel on this earth. I can't even begin to express how much it has changed me from the foundation up and the hope it gives me for the future.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's talk - http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/the-merciful-obtain-mercy

Gracias for the bagels and football.

I have already failed! But, I have an excuse. I can't get plugged into wifi on my laptop so I've been limited to updating when I'm on campus and on a school computer.
This weekend has been spectacular. Thanksgiving was a blast; I made it to three different dinners. I was surrounded by new friends and people who have become my family; I loved it. On Friday, I went to the library, finished a paper in less time than I expected and then was picked up by my aunty and her family to go to the Kahuku Red Raiders football game. I have never seen so much community spirit behind a high school team before in my life. It was amazing to see the support that everyone had for those boys on the field. I was honored to be a part of it and to experience what it means to be a "Red Raider for Life". I took pictures but strangely they were all deleted so I'll figure out how to get videos up here. I have been loving my time in Hawaii and everyday I wake up I know that I made the right choice to come out here. Also, I got an AMAZING box of stuff from my family today - protein bars, TIME magazine, and bagels! I loved it. I spoke to my oldest sister yesterday and she told me about her plan to write a children's book series; she asked me to be her editor. I am so excited to be given this opportunity to work with her and I know that we will learn a lot through the process. I am grateful for my family and for the person they have helped me to become.

Hawaii: A Reemergence of Passion

After a lot of time, thinking, more time, and pondering I have decided to start blogging, again. This always happens to me. I begin a journal, I leave it. I find it in a corner underneath my bed, re-read the posts, laugh a little and think "why did I ever stop?" I know why I stopped. Too little time and too little to talk about. It is not that interesting things do not happen during my day but the quickness in which they leave my memory. I need to be more grateful for the many beautiful things around me. But, here I am again. Almost a full year - to the date - from my last blog entry. I am trying a couple of things differently this time. 1) I will commit to this. 2) I will buy a camera so that my not-so-boring days can be captured in another type of memory besides my own. 3) I will write in this, dare I say it, every day! Mormons are notorious for their journal-keeping and scrapbooking. I am terrible at scrapbooking and less than adequate at journal-keeping and I will try my best. Truly, this reemergence of blogging passion has come after I realized how big this blogosphere is especially with people in my Church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We have been urged by the leaders of the Church to prepare ourselves for the digital age and to bring the Gospel along with us. Mormons, or Latter-day Saints, are making quite a public comeback lately; new commercials, presidential candidates, movies, and the sort. We are coming upon a new era in which members of the Church can maintain and display their individuality while promoting the Church and the values that they, myself, and almost 3 million other people consider our faith. Although we are spread throughout the world, we 3 million strong are bracing ourselves for a new frontier. We may not be trekking across the plains but we are travailing through a new world and we are doing it together.
I am a Mormon, a Latter-day Saint. I believe in God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. I read the Book of Mormon and can testify of its truth. I also read the Old Testament, the New Testament, the Doctrine & Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price and find them just as important. I find comfort in knowing that I am a daughter of God and that we are all of his children trying to get through this mortal existence as best as we can. I believe in an eternity with the ones I love from the past, present, and the future. I know that true doctrine is still given today. I love the Lord and I love this Gospel. http://mormon.org/people/

Minimal.

It's winter in Utah.
Cold, bitter, harsh, and... cold.
I leave for New York in a few days and, for the past few days, I have been reflecting about the past semester. It was full of new experiences, people, and places. Strange pairs and perfect couples. A new house which turned into a familiar home rather quickly. Family came to visit making us remember how calm Home a home can be. Trips have been planned and journeys were embarked upon.
All in all, this has been an interesting semester and I'm sad to see it leave yet excited to see what the next one has to offer. I find that I long for a future in which I am liberated from obligations and limitations; my heart jumps just thinking about where a path like mine can lead. Where it will take me, who I will meet, what I will do. The possibilities can either be endless or definitive and it is up to me to strive for the best.